Forgiveness Clears The Blockage From The Past

Holding grudges, both consciously and beneath the surface, will seriously erode your energy and prevent you from being able to fully focus on manifesting your desires. Fortunately once you acknowledge the need to forgive, the rest is easy.

Most people resist the idea of forgiveness because they want to hold on to blaming others for their problems. However, even when others do play a hand in the “negative” events of our life, we can never fully move pat such events without mindfully forgiving and letting go.

And most of us carry around considerable burden from our past. We may not consciously remember a grudge but still be holding it tightly.

If you have ever seen an old acquaintance and immediately become bitter about a past event that you hadn’t even thought of for months or years, you have experienced firsthand the human ability to refuse forgiveness. The fact is we must make a specific effort to forgive and let go in order to release harmful and negative energies.

And forgiveness need not involve a conversation, or any type of interaction, with another person. True forgiveness and letting go take place completely in our minds and actually have little to do with people outside of us.

One great way to achieve forgiveness is to write the person you are holding hostility towards a letter explaining that you no longer hold them in any way accountable and that you wish them the best of love and happiness in life. Be sure to put honest emotion into the letter, and then feel free to throw it away once you’re finished.

Again, there is no need to even communicate with the other person. This is about you and not them.

If you can’t think of anyone you might be holding a grudge against, you could say out loud that you wish to forgive and release from responsibility any parents, family members, friends from past and present, employers and coworkers, customers, and businesses that you have ever had a disagreement with. Also decide to be aware each day of resentments and hostilities as they arise and be prepared to forgive and let go when the need arises.

In doing this, also be sure to address any angers you might hold against the universe, God, or whatever you use to refer to the events of life. Many people go through life feeling they are victims of circumstance, and this is an enormous obstacle to achieving any type of happiness and prosperity. By consciously forgiving the universe for anything you have previously felt victimized for you will free up massive amounts of creative energy.

And most importantly of all, you need to take the time to forgive yourself. All of us become angry with ourselves from time to time. While it’s healthy to hold high self-expectations, it is very damaging to resent yourself for perceived failures and mistakes.

Tell yourself that every experience you’ve had in life is taking you in the direction you want to go. Refuse to believe in the myth of “wasted time” and understand that your journey is a process of learning and growing.

Let go of anything you are holding against yourself, and allow your true greatness to surface. This is one of the most important steps you will ever take on your path to abundance and happiness.

Source: Timothy Aaron Whiston (ArticleDashboard.com)

The Challenge Of Death And Dying: Letting Go Of A Loved One

Beloved Ones, the passage into death is not one to be feared, but one that signals the completion of one phase of life so that another can begin. For in truth, there is no such thing as death, only ongoing life for souls in an ever-expanding process of exploration and learning. The journey is infinite, as are the capacities of each and every soul.

Nevertheless, the emotions created by the loss or anticipated loss of a beloved one are painful to the ones who remain behind, even when there has been a long process of anticipating such an event, and even when the loved one is elderly or quite ill. Even then, the ties of connection can remain strong and the difficulty in letting go can remain equally strong.

What needs to be understood is that these ties of attachment are more than just emotions felt for a period of time. Often, there are karmic ties of long standing that have created deep energetic connections which can be felt within the body. For this reason it is both physically and emotionally true that the loved one feels like a part of oneself. The energetic ties create a sense of relationship over years and over lifetimes. They create a sense of sharing a life with another, even if that other is far away. When the other departs or is on the brink of departing, it can feel as if a piece of oneself is departing as well. In fact, this is literally the case, for following the transition from the physical plane, and sometimes even before it occurs, the energetic ties to those departing begin to be severed, not totally, but enough so that there is an experience of the separation that can be felt in a physical-energetic way. At times, following the death of a loved one, this rupture can feel quite severe, as if there were a forcible ripping away of part of oneself. These are the energetic ties that are leaving along with the physical body of the one who has departed. They are not the ties of love which are able to remain.

How then, given the degree of loss and attachment that can be felt toward those who are loved, is it possible to let go with grace? The answer cannot be a general one, for each individual heart is different, and each one loves in their own unique way. And yet there are components that are similar. The first lies in the willingness to deeply feel the loss, sadness, or grief that may be involved, knowing that there is much of life and learning that is incorporated into the letting go process itself. This process involves teachings that are profoundly intimate that can open the heart to greater life and greater love.

At the same time it is important to entrust the departing one to God and to the future unfoldment of their own journey, as well as to trust the continuation of one's own journey. This assurance of goodness in the presence of death is a foundation for being able to let go with grace, and the absence of this assurance, more than anything else, allows the emotions of despair and loss to become paramount without the softening feeling that arises from trust in the future.

It is also important to understand that the nature and timing of death is part of the life-plan of each soul, built into the blueprint for each incarnation as much as any other feature is built in. This does not mean that the plan is immutable, for there are still choices that remain to each soul regarding timing and regarding the manner of death. There are also new decisions that can sometimes be made, especially when a strong period of spiritual growth has taken place and new factors enter the picture. Yet, for many, the time of transition has been chosen by the soul in accompaniment with Divine will and wisdom prior to arriving on the earth, and despite the suffering that may be involved, the process itself is a significant part of life - as great a teacher as any other aspect of life. In fact, the passage through death is often of greater significance, both in the dying process itself and in the final moments of breath. Often, a soul learns during these final moments more than may have been possible during an entire lifetime.

There is no remedy for the sadness of loss which is an intimate part of love. And yet loss and sorrow can be accompanied by joy, for the heart is large enough to hold both. If all of life is a saying "hello" to circumstances, people, and events that cross one's path, then all of life is also and simultaneously a saying "goodbye" to those same circumstances, people, and events so that something new can take their place. Yet in the midst of this, in the presence of ceaseless change, what remains is love. For the bonds of love are enduring and cannot be severed by death. This is the ultimate comfort in the presence of death and dying – that the bonds of love can grow roots within the heart itself, and once implanted there, are able to remain forever.



Source: Julie Redstone (ArticleDashboard.com)

"let Go And Move Upwards" – Awareness

The story of the three rich brothers

“Once upon a time, there were three very wealthy brothers. They lived happy together in their very big mansion, sharing all money can buy – society parties, fast cars, jewels that museums and princesses would die for. Then one day, war came to their town. Troops are storming into their mansion, half of which has collapsed from multiple air-strikes.

The three brothers gathered as many of their processions as possible and made their escape through an underground cave path with soldiers hot on their heels. They got stuck at the escape opening as it is too narrow.

”Pause and think: What would you do if you are one of the brothers?“

The youngest brother immediately threw down all the bundles he was carrying and slip through the opening, the second brother discarded most of his load saving only an antique clock of solid gold, struggled past the opening. The eldest kept trying to squeeze though the opening and was killed while he was still trying to push his processions through the opening.

”Pause and think: Which brother are you?

Are you more like the youngest brother whose immediate reaction to an opportunity to move forward, was to let go of all that he has, and move onwards? Or, will you react more like the second brother who prioritised and pick the “things” that have meaning or would be helpful to him, and move onwards?

Key Thought:

Holding too tight on what we have in the past or at present, we cannot open up to receive other things coming to us.

If the eldest of the brothers has let go of his processions, he will gain freedom like his two brothers, and the chance to start again and regain their wealth.

This article aims to help us to identify and be aware of how we will naturally response to the need to let go of our past and current (experiences, emotions and choices) in other to move on successfully to another stage of our lives. With awareness, we are able take the next step of action to let go and move upwards!

Source: YoungButThinkRich (ArticleDashboard.com)

Letting Go Of The How

Do you believe in the law of attraction? Do you believe it works? Well, I have my own story to share about letting go of the how things work and just believe that they will.

Most people worry a lot about finances and want more in their life. What I have done is come up with some affirmations of things you want to appear in your life. Since we are on the subject of money, here is one for that: "money comes to me easily and effortlessly". Now the problem most people have is that they don't believe that this can happen for them. One of the key elements to attracting what you want is faith. You have to have faith that this will come to you.

This is what happened to me. I am faithful with my affirmations every single day and I say them three times a day. You have to feel deserving of what you are asking for. I say them with a smile on my face and in my heart; then I just let them go. Like many, I had no idea how money would end up showing up in my mailbox since I knew no one owed me anything and it wasn't going to come out of thin air. WRONG!!!

I went to my mailbox one day and I had a check from the insurance company. It was from a procedure I had over a year ago and they were just now getting around to reimbursing me. Imagine my surprise and delight. Not long after that I had my yearly checkup with my doctor and two months after that visit I received another check in the mail from the insurance company reimbursing me again for overpayment. I just thought no one owed me anything! The best one is I had to do my income taxes and this is my first year in business for myself. I had no idea what to expect and I have to admit, I was nervous. But, I had my moment and let it go because dwelling on the "what if" does no one any good. Low and behold, I'm getting a refund and it's a big one. Now tell yourself this doesn't work! You won't know until you try.

What I have learned is that not only do you ask, believe and you will receive, but you also have to have faith and you have to put this into action. You can't say you want a profitable business and then do nothing toward making it a success. If you put in the work, the results will come back to you. I am now living proof!

Source: Adrienne Smith (ArticleDashboard.com)

An Affirmation for Letting Go

I am willing to trust. I know that to the degree I am willing to give up my search for a healthy love relationship, I can have it. I know I can have whatever I am ready and willing to receive. Individual receptivity is everything. Without it, nothing changes. With it, all things are possible. I no longer insist upon my choice.

I know that the only thing I lose when I let go of something I am afraid to live without is the fear itself. I am stronger than anything that frightens me!

I let go of the past, and I am free to think clearly and positively in the present. I am not my past.

Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on is an energy drain and it hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice. Letting go does not mean giving up.


LoveNote. . . A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth -- with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. - Frank P. Tebbetts

Letting go is a journey that never ends. Never. It only begins -- over and over again -- each time I can glimpse something higher than my own painful certainty over who I think I am. There is always something higher; a life beyond the limits of my present sight.

To see what is farther I must be willing to lift my eyes from their present point of focus. Release always follows revelation and real revelation is always a glimpse of something that was only just out of sight.

I know that stress in my love relationship exists because I insist! What I resist, persists. I am tied to whatever I avoid.

LoveNote. . . The heart loves, but moods have no loyalty. Moods should be heard but never danced to. - Hugh Prather

It is a mistaken belief that I must push my love relationship in the direction I choose that keeps me in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Reality has its own effortless course, and I can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with mine.

I do not need power to flow.

I let go of that part of myself that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. I give birth to a new me that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.

I dare to walk away from all of the familiar but useless mental and emotional relationships that give me a temporary but unsatisfactory sense of self. My true identity is calling me and to hear it I must be willing to endure, for as long as necessary, the fear of self-uncertainty.

This form of seeming self-abandonment eventually turns into my greatest pleasure as it becomes increasingly evident that the only thing certain about fear is that it will always compromise me. When it comes to who I really am, there is no compromise.

Let go of the past. The past is yesterday. It is irretrievable. When you relate to the past, you relate to no one or anything. You are literally talking to yourself. No one else is listening. You have already heard all you have to say about that, so, let go.

A Course in Miracles says, "You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled."

It is certifiable insanity to conjure up your own reality based on the past and relate to it, rather than to relate to the present which is the only reality.


LoveNote. . . Relationships are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, the Holy Spirit's blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. Relationships are the Holy Spirit's laboratories in which he brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. - Marianne Williamson

I say goodbye to the past and hello to the present.

I am enthusiastic about who I am becoming! I know that no one sincerely asks for a new life until they are thoroughly dissatisfied with the old one. I am and I let go. When I allow myself to let go of what is old, I stay true to what is new.

I believe that as with all insight, higher understanding itself contains not only the instructions I must follow, but the strength I will need to carry them out.

Starting life over again is the key to a new me. I see the beauty and significance of starting over - over and over and over. Every present moment is always new and new is always right now! The new dies to the ever-new in an endless celebration of Life.

This is it!

I live in the present. I never let the past dictate the direction of the present moment. I give my best to my endeavors.

What lies ahead for me can only be good.

True peace and harmony are a part of who I am.

I have come to the realization that what is possible for me to become only truly changes when I am willing to see what is impossible for me to continue being.

My true nature is already fully independent and flying freely. I have found my wings.

I let go and let God. And so it is.




Source: Larry James (CelebrateLove.com)

Letting Go Of Stress Completely

You will find everywhere you look and with the fast-paced life that individuals endure these days, stress is part of our daily lives. As a matter of fact, individuals are so accustomed it that they deal with it as a regular daily occurrence but tension, when not handled the correct way, can lead to all forms of health problems, fundamental of which is heart problems. This is especially true with individuals who have had family history of heart problems.

Managing Stress is nevertheless, really simple to do when you make the effort, so if you keep in mind to keep it from happening, you can in reality experience a stress-free life or at the very minimum, be able to deal with it easily because let’s face it, coping with stress is stressful in itself. You don’t really have to go to elaborate lengths to free the tension - you can remove it by avoiding its happening in the first place. Read further and you may just stop those lines from coming out.

Tension is so usual these days that its expected by everyone, so it’s advisable that you organize yourself for the big troubles and let go of the tinier, insignificant ones. You can only do this if you maintain an organized life because just looking for your misplaced pen in the workplace can produce stress, not to mention, make you lose your concentration. Don’t let that happen, so keep your life arranged and it will ensure you are more prepared to handle the bigger issues.

It is not true that creative juices only come out when we are rushed, it’s just they appear during those times because we are forced to think. With plenty of self-will, we can surely think of imaginative concepts without stressing ourselves for want of time and by starting early it will also mean that you won’t have to be rushed when you are working on a job. You can take your time and actually think about what you are trying to achieve and this will not only prevent you from getting too tense, but, also permit you to produce great imaginative work.

Tension points will seldom involve you provided you are ready for it, health-wise. You see, when your body is well and is full of energy, you are just about fortified from the consequences of stress such as the reduction of energy levels, nervous breakdown and often, even heart conditions. This can only be done by living healthy through eating the right types of food and having the required sleep each day. If you consider that you are already approaching your breaking point, don’t be a martyr and take time out because this will do you a lot of good as it will assist you reload and de-tension yourself.

If you’re too occupied, don’t put it off as doing so will only make the stress build up inside you until you become too stressed out to even do anything. it i for this reason employers give vacation leave so that people can take a while to relax and regain their previous vigor levels, and imaginative selves. By: Jeff Jesper

Source: Ben Bridges (Self Love Tips)

Letting Go of Hurt

Letting go of hurt can be difficult especially if the hurt stems from something that someone you love said or did. Letting go means you have made the decision to NOT ALLOW the actions of others to affect how you feel toward yourself.

Positive affirmations can help you overcome painful hurt feelings. The right positive words composed with the right focus are the key to healing the hurt.


Affirmations:

I release feelings of hurt and replace them with loving kindness for myself.

Hurtful words and actions are in the past. I dwell only in the loving presence of this moment.

> I forgive the past and open my heart to the joys of life.

> I live in the light and love of now and let go of all past hurtful words and actions.

> I let go of my painful past feelings. Life is good and so am I.

> I recognize now I am free to let go of all hurtful past events.

> I leave painful feelings behind and move into the joy of each present moment.

> As I learn and grow I forgive and let go of the painful past.

> I am master of my world. I have let go of all past hurts and live in the now.

> I forgive and release my painful feelings and know that all is right in my world.

Source: Living Words of Wisdom

Learn to let go of past pain!

One of the most important ways of achieving emotional and psychological well-being is to be able to live in the present having learnt from the past. Many people, particularly women, find it hard to prevent the past from clouding their judgement or damaging their well-being.

Finding it hard to let go of the past can be about many things. For example, it can be reflected in a repeated cycle of unhappy relationships. Perhaps an unhappy relationship that isn't explored and dealt with leads you to choose unsuitable partners in future because you don't expect anything better. Or if you've grown up with an alcoholic father you may find yourself attracted to alcoholics, who cause you great pain. By perpetuating unhappy feelings in this way the past controls your present.

Painful events

Another one of the main ways that the past can have an unhappy influence over our lives is when we simply can't let go of a hurt, pain, and/or anger from past experiences. Everyone experiences painful events ranging from bereavement, to broken relationships, to having been bullied. The potential for unhappy experiences is endless, and it's how we deal with these that counts.

As the hurts and pain of life can't be completely avoided it's important to face these challenges, heal yourself where necessary, learn from them and then move on. This is where many get stuck. When hurt and pain are allowed to take over your life, anger and bitterness often develop.

Wherever your past hurt, pain or anger springs from, you can learn to let go of it. The golden rule to remember is that you may not be able to control events happening to you, like the death of someone you love, or sharing an office with a spiteful colleague. However you can be in charge of your response to such events.

Letting-go techniques

1. Identification
Sit down and take the time to identify what event/experience from the past causes you a negative emotion. Make an honest assessment of this. For example, you may identify the way your first boyfriend broke your heart by cheating on you as the root of long-held pain.

2. Think in ink
Write a letter to yourself to help you set boundaries on this old hurt. Using this example of the cheating ex-boyfriend you'd write something like, 'When I was younger I made the choice to have a relationship with a man who wasn't worthy of me. He wasn't honourable or respectful and yet I let him into my life. We're all allowed to make such mistakes. What I'll learn from this is never to let anyone treat me like that again. I suffered a great deal from his actions and have continued to let myself feel this pain. From now on I'll no longer let his hurtful behaviour affect me.' Re-read this letter when you feel that old hurt welling up to remind yourself that you're entitled to move forward.

3. Talking cure
You might decide that the pain/hurt that negatively impacts on your life simply needs to be talked through. For example, I come across many people who've been bereaved but 'shut down' their painful emotions because they felt they must carry on with things like their work and their children. They then find that deeply unhappy feelings resurface from time-to-time and often when they least expect it. Sometimes simply acknowledging that their grief was put 'on hold' and needs to be explored and talked through with loved ones, can help them draw a line and move forward.

4. Visualise
Using visual techniques to change our feelings can be helpful. To help draw a line under the past, take a moment to close your eyes and visualise yourself as two separate people: the 'old you' and the 'new you'. Add detail into your visualisation. For example, place the 'old you' in a grey landscape and 'new you' in a bright and colourful landscape surrounded by vibrant plants and animals. Recall this visualisation daily, to help you to continue to draw that line between the past and the present.

5. No longer rose-coloured
It's time to take off your rose-coloured spectacles and make a list of the negatives about the person or experience that has caused you long-held pain. Staying with the example of the cheating first boyfriend, your list might include: anyone who cheats on you is not worth wasting your feelings over now; he wasn't such a catch after all as he drank too much and could be boring; when you were dating he never did anything romantic. Once you have this list written out, keep it close to hand as a reminder that this past experience/person is not worthy of your time, attention or feelings now.

6. Find forgiveness
The flip-side to being unable to let go of past pain and hurt is being able to find forgiveness. A key element of this is to recognise that being 'right' is not as important as being happy. Some people get stuck with anger over a past event because they feel they were 'right', the other person was 'wrong', and the other person hasn't taken responsibility for this. It can be good for your well-being to decide that letting go of being 'right' can lead to greater happiness.

7. Build positive bridges
Another aspect of this issue of wanting some resolution with a person who has caused you pain is to make the first move. Be the first to build bridges by contacting them and putting your hand on your heart and saying you want to make amends.

8. Saying sorry
Past pain that affects you now can be as much to do with your own behaviour as the way someone else has treated you. In this case take the opportunity to say sorry to the person that you may have hurt. This demonstrates that you can grow as person and hopefully they'll accept this apology in the positive spirit it's offered.

Source: Dr. Pam Spurr (iVillage.co.uk)

Letting Go of Anger

Many of us experience anger. Some people can let it go after a short time, and some people may hold onto for a long time. I see anger as an invisible black line that you send to the person you are angry with, and sometimes, if you are both angry with each other, that black invisible line is sent back, keeping both people linked together in an endless black circle, until it is broken. What are the steps you can take to break that link, and what happens when you do? First let’s discuss what anger is.

Anger attracts more anger. When you are angry, you will attract more angry situations in your life. Darkness seeks darkness. Anger is one of the most damaging emotions to the physical body. Anger hurts your heart spiritually and physically, and closes it off from being able to experience love in other areas of your life. It can eventually over a period of time lead to a physical illness.

Feel It

Are you allowed to be angry? Yes. Be angry, express your feelings, write them down, and then rip up the paper and throw it away. Say the words out loud to yourself, WITHOUT personally attacking the other person. Give yourself a certain amount of time that you will allow yourself to be angry. Try to understand your situation, realize that this person that you are angry with on this earth plane may be here to help you learn a valuable lesson in life. Knowing that you may be learning a lesson, will help towards acceptance. You may then begin to ask yourself, what is my lesson? Are you so angry that you cannot forgive this person? If you answered yes, then it could be a lesson in forgiveness. Are you so angry that you can not feel any compassion towards this person? You may need to be more compassionate towards someone who maybe worst off than you emotionally or spiritually.

Let It Go

Once you have expressed yourself, you must now learn how to LET IT GO. Letting go of anger can be done in a couple of ways. One way is to forgive yourself for being angry. Tell yourself “I forgive myself for being angry” every time you feel guilty about having such an emotion.

Try sitting quietly by yourself, breath in 3 deep breaths. Relax. Put a loving, healing white light around yourself, by repeating, “White Light of the Highest Order under the Protection of Archangel Michael” say this three times while picturing the white light swirling around your body starting from your feet and moving up towards your head in a counter-clockwise motion. Once you have brought in the loving light of the Universe, you can then send this white light on to the person you are connected to in anger to help break the invisible black line that binds you together. It is especially hard to do when you are angry, but that is when it works the best. Now picture that person in your mind, then send them the same white light and the same verse “White Light of the Highest Order under the Protection of Archangel Michael” do that while putting the white light around them starting at their feet, swirling up around them up through the top of their heads in a counter-clockwise motion.

You may begin to feel the release, a peacefulness with surround you. The other person may disappear from your life, or you can turn it around so that you may begin to be together again in a more meaningful way. Do this even when everything in your body and mind is telling you that the other person does not deserve to be forgiven. Because in the end, it is all being done to help YOU! Releasing you from the invisible dark line that binds you to this other person. If you can get to the point where you can do this WHILE you are arguing, you may be amazed to see how the other person may stop arguing mid-sentence, or the argument may stop as soon as it starts.

You should do it because you are trying to be a better person. Because the other person may be worse off than yourself, and not know how to forgive and love. Maybe nobody taught them. Maybe they were unloved, had unknown hateful things said to them as a child. They have grown up angry and confused and wanting to take it out on someone and that someone just happens to be you.

Repeat the following line every time the issue of anger towards another person comes up in you, even if you don’t believe it, sooner or later it may actually happen “I forgive (name) for what they have done”. Make a conscious decision that you will forgive them. By continuing to send out this positive affirmation you may come to the day where it happens, that today is the day, and you release the anger. You may even be able to thank them silently for the lesson. Peace will pervade you, you silently realized what it is all about, and you finally get IT. Love and Forgiveness.


Source: Linda Foltyn ( White Buffalo Beads and Stones)

When To Let Go

So you sit there wondering why that one person doesn't want to be with you, yet you keep trying. You give in, doing what they want all the time, til you end up just living for them. Face it, most people are so afraid of being alone. Even if you think there's nothing wrong with you (you may be right), maybe you're just not the one for THAT person. There's no sense in holding onto something that's just bound to end in heartache. You can't make someone love you if they choose not to. Stop wasting time trying to prove to someone who doesn't care, and wait on the one who will come along and love you like you're supposed to be love

If you start doing these for things, then I'm sure you're bound to learn to let go, and let God lead the way.

1. Learn to love yourself: Most people live for others. They never take time out of the day for "me" time. When you try to prove your love to that person, it comes off as pushy and scary. lol Which leads to that person taking you for granted because they know you are doing what's making THEM happy. You're not helping the relationship, you're hurting it, and quite possibly hurting you. You're giving that person the ability to step all over you without a care in the world.

2. Learn to say "No": I use to be a "yes" person. I always had trouble telling others no when it was appropriate. Even when I didn't want to do it, I did it anyway just to make other people happy. I always thought that if I said "no", people would think I was being rude and insensitive, but it's the other way around. You're standing up for yourself and letting others know that you demand respect. Don't stress yourself out all the time because you want to make someone happy. Be honest. Say no when you feel the need.

3. You Don't Need Others Approval: You're smart. Talent. Cute. You have a GREAT personality, and you're stable. You're sexy and you know it. You have a job and it pays well. So what? That's not what makes a relationship work. You don't need to prove to someone that you're a great catch. Just let it happen. When you force it, it comes off as being fake. Who wants to be in a false relationship. Allow people to see your great qualities. You don't have to list them when you first meet them. Let them see it naturally.

4. Move On: Something that most people don't know when or how to do it. What's the point in staying in a relationship that's not going anywhere? What are you gaining from that? Besides nothing. You came into the world alone (unless you're a twin) & you're going to leave it alone. I'm not saying you should be locked in the house with 20 cats. But reality is, you don't need anybody to make you happy. It comes from within. When you love yourself, you're content with being by yourself. There's no point in being with a relationship, when it feels like you're by yourself anyway. The other person is just taking up space in your home. Let them go. Be free, and let love find YOU.


Source: Beepoetic19 (Hubpages)

Letting Go Of Your Past
How to Deal With Your Mistakes and Move On

Letting go of your past – whether it's quitting an addictive relationship or grieving a death – can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Even if it was a painful relationship and you had to let go of your past for your own sanity, you still may struggle with saying good-bye.

It's not easy, but there are practical ways to let go of your past and move on. Before you delve into letting go and saying good-bye to your past, however, you may need to face your memories and experiences. If you're dealing with your mistakes, you'll certainly have to accept responsibility for your actions.

Six Steps to Letting Go of Your Past:

1. Write, talk, draw, paint, or otherwise tap into your thoughts and memories. Letting go of your past means honoring your memories.
2. Let go of the emotions and feelings of painful memories by letting them wash over you – you'll feel horrible during, but relieved and peaceful afterwards. Let go of your past by reliving it.
3. Go back and talk to the people involved, if possible. Letting go of your past can mean going back.
4. Share your real feelings; confess if it's appropriate. Letting go of your past means expressing your emotions. If you have to deal with your mistakes, then own up to your shame or guilt.
5. Apologize and ask forgiveness if you need to. Letting go of your past means being vulnerable.
6. Get help with uncontrollable urges to overeat, get stoned or drunk, or otherwise hurt yourself. Letting go of your past means burying your pride.

Letting go of loved ones – whether it's a divorced spouse, dead child, estranged brother, or euthanized pet – is difficult to do. Letting go of your past requires effort and energy, but your own strength and courage will kick in. You'll not only survive, you'll be wiser, more peaceful, and more centered than before if you learn to let go of your past.

What is letting go of your past?

Letting go of your past means accepting that there's nothing you can do to change the past. You did the best you could. When you're facing your failures, know that you were as good, loving, and effective as you could have been. If you were to go back, you couldn't do anything differently because that's who you were and that's what you knew then. It's done. Let go of your past.

Letting go of your past means forgiving yourself for your mistakes. Ruminating on what you could've or should've done is ineffective and unhealthy. If you're dealing with your mistakes or facing your failures, try to forgive yourself.

Letting go of your past means being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself dwelling or obsessing over the past or the person you lost, gently draw your thoughts back to the present. Let go of your obsession, whether it's an addictive relationship or lost child.

Letting go of your past means trusting the nature of time. You will heal and move on. Your wound will slowly close up and soon only a faint scar will remain - if you let go of your past.

Letting go of your past means making new connections with people. You don't necessarily have to make a whole new set of friends; you can initiate a new type of friendship with a colleague or invite a neighbor over for coffee. If you talk about facing your failures, you'll be better able to actually face your failures.

Letting go of your past means seeking balance in your conversations. It's important to vent and share your pain and sadness, and it's equally important to show your interest in other people's lives. Letting go of your past means letting go of yourself.

Letting go of your past means exploring a new world. Take a new course at the community college or start a new hobby. To let go of the past, start looking in new directions!

Letting go of your past means volunteering your time. There are hundreds of interesting opportunities that will help you say good-bye to the past. Visit a volunteer website or centre in your city. Move out of your comfort zone: if you're a mom and wife, try building a Habitat for Humanity home or spending time with seniors.

When you're letting go of an ex-partner, you should seriously consider whether it's wise to spend time together -- or if you should let go altogether. Maybe you're still in love, or were abused, and have confused thoughts and feelings. Taking a break may be the wisest course of action -- and so might be totally letting go.

Source: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen (suite101.com)

Letting Go Of A Relationship

There are many reasons that we have trouble letting go of a relationship, or of the person that we care about - even if we are still in that relationship. There are many reasons to also let go of a relationship... even though it can be hard.

There are ways that you can try to let go of your relationship, past or present, and look to a brighter future... with healthy relationships, and a happy mind.

Realize It's Over

The first step to letting go of a relationship is to accept that it is, indeed, over - that your future is in your own hands, and you are, right now, by yourself, without anyone else there. It can be scary, without a doubt, but you need to face it.

No matter what sort of closing your relationship might, or might not, have had, you need to accept that it's over. You and your previous partner are no more, and there is nothing that you can do about it.

Don't Press the 'Pause' Button

Ever feel like you're sitting stagnant, waiting for your ex to come back to you? Perhaps like feel that you can't move on? You know, ever second that you spend thinking about them is a second that you could be living life to the fullest.

Don't put your entire life on hold because of that person - letting go of a relationship means moving on, so do that! Pick up a new hobby, indulge in an old one. Spend time out with friends, and keep your life moving steadily forward. Don't let yourself pause to miss your ex, or think about it. Realize that life can continue without them.

Do What You Have to Do

Perhaps it's not you that is having trouble letting go, but your ex - maybe they're calling you, begging you, and hoping that you'll come back? It's possible, and often, it happens to the best of us. Because of this constant contact, we're unable to let go of a relationship, and move forward.

Do what you have to do to stop this. You need to flat out tell your ex - with all due respect to both of you - no. No, you will not get back with them. No, you don't love them anymore, and they need to move on with their life. If you must, end contact with mutual friends, and change your phone number.

Sound harsh? Maybe. But it's unhealthy for you to be strung along, and you're certainly not doing your ex any favors by humoring them. It's bad for you both, and the sooner that you realize it, the sooner that you both can move on.

Overall...

Letting go of a relationship is never easy, but you can do it. Work at it, and realize that, no matter what, there's nothing you can do to change the past. Go forward, and hope for the best.

Source: Free Dating Tips for Guys.com

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short

Source: Author Unknown (community4me.com)

THE LETTING GO

Letting go. It is difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old.

There come a times, in the context of love and romance, when we must learn to let go. For some of us, as described in the song, we must let go of a past romantic relationship. Maybe the relationship was not meant to be: perhaps it was hurtful to us, or perhaps it was hindering the personal or spiritual growth of one or both partners. In this case, even when there may still be feelings of passion, or attraction, or just the comfort of the familiar, we must be strong in letting go of something that is unhealthy for us. … Perhaps we have no problem leaving the person behind, but we continue to harbor animosity. In this case, we need to let go of the anger: holding onto anger does not serve us - and it might even serve to create problems in our physical health or emotional well-being. … In the realm of romantic relationships, some of us need to let go of unrealistic expectations. Whether we have idealized a past relationship or just read too many romance novels, some of us need to let go of the myth of the perfect lover: the fantasy of a relationship that requires no work and just brings us "happily ever after." By letting go, I am not implying "to forget" or "to ignore." By all means, we should carry with us the happy memories and the lessons we have learned from our past relationships. However, we need to let go in the sense of releasing emotional baggage we may be carrying around with us, so that we may be open to, and present for, a new relationship.

Some of us have difficulty letting go of a friend or loved one who has passed away. I have known mothers who have lost a young child who never seem to cope with this loss, emotionally: they carry it with them for years, like a dark and ominous cloud that -- even on a sunny day - looms on the horizon. Children can have as hard a time losing their parents, even when the parents have lived long and full lives. Often adult children who have lost a parent before working through interpersonal issues, or before having an opportunity to say goodbye, have difficulty letting go of unresolved issues or guilt. Sometimes we may need to go for some counseling or do a ritual (some act with personal meaning) to allow us to release these emotions.

Many of us have trouble letting go of old ways of viewing people who have been part of our lives for an extended period of time. They may be changing, and yet we do not let go of viewing them in the same way, and/or we try to discourage that change. We refuse to let go of the labeling, categorizing, and pre-set expectations we have of those we know, and of ourselves. This seems particularly true of many parents of teenage or young adult children. Many parents have a difficult time letting go of them as children, and allowing them to grow up. It is hard for parents to make that transition from treating their children as kids, to treating them as adults and more like friends. Many of these same parents have trouble letting go of viewing themselves, primarily, in the role of parent. For instance, some mothers are afraid to let their kids become grownups, because they are afraid to let go of their own identity as "mother." They have become so identified with that one role, that they no longer are sure who they are, outside of that role. When we refuse to let go of old ways of identifying and viewing ourselves and others, we hinder the growth and change that is occurring.

There is a saying: Let Go, Let God. For most, if not all, of us, the letting go that we most need to do is a type of surrender. We need to surrender to life, itself. This means that we need to let go of our illusion that we actually can control most aspects of our lives. In many cases, rather than to fight "what is," we need to learn to accept and to be at peace… Too many of us are trying to keep a tight grip on things that are out of our control. This is like trying to grip the water flowing in a river. Put your hands into the river. If you try to get the water by grabbing it and clenching your fists, it goes right out of your hands. If you relax and open, gently cupping your hands, the water flows into your palms. By relaxing, opening, and trusting, we can hold onto more of what is precious to us. By letting go, we actually allow more of the mystery of life to come in for us.


Source: Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A (The art of loving)